Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
