why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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