I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize