When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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