just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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