Sry I called you an 8
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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