hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
