I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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