This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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