Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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