Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
