They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
