He had one of those small greek statue penises
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
