so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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