ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
