I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
