My sheets look like a crime scene.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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