I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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