so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
