the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize