the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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