Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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