If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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