What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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