we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Sex in the backyard? Check.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
