I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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