it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
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If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
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Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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