it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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