when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
