you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
