Me. At least after what I've been through.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Your dad touched me again.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
