how can u be prego again
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
