Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
