your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
