Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize