I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
only if we run a train.
done.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
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We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
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Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
She made me pour olive oil on her.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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