when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
