went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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