Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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