how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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