Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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