She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
