Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
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Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
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Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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