found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
you made out with another girl for some wings
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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