You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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