we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
