I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
