She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
