if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
wakey wakey hands off snakey
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Randomize
