I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
