Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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