Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You were trust falling into bushes
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
