When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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