i permit you to call me
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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