Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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