No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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