I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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