How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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