i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize