i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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