I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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