Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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