you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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