Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
