ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
