Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
