How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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